Jerry Seinfeld: Like Basquiat, is probably more famous for living in Manhattan than being born in Brooklyn. That hasn’t stopped the Nets so far.
David Blaine: Did you know the famous magician is from Brooklyn? Imagine some translucent jerseys, like he made them…. disappear! The artist is known for tricks that exhibit his endurance, but has he tried being a lifelong Nets fan? (I’m a lifelong Nets fan, so I can say that.)
Joseph Heller: How about jerseys inspired by the author behind required-reading Catch 22? You’d have to be crazy not to want these jerseys but all Nets fans are crazy.
Williamsburg pasta joint Misi: It’s absolutely impossible to reserve your jersey.
Bernie Sanders: Free jerseys for all.
Bernie Bro: Free jerseys for all, and they’re making sure everyone freaking knows it.
Abraham Maslow: Maslow’s new hierarchy of needs lists food, water, warmth, rest, and Nets basketball as basic necessities.
Grace School Preschool: The most glamorous preschool in Dumbo raises millions of dollars by auctioning off a shooting lesson with J.J. Redick to get its name on the front of the Nets jerseys.
Mario: Super Mario producer Shigeru Miyamoto has said, “It’s a given that Mario is an Italian-American from Brooklyn, New York.” Sure, let’s run with that. Just picture it: “It’s a-me Kevin Durant!”
A guy with a stack of unread New Yorker magazines in the corner of his apartment: I just landed on the perfect upcycling project.
Spike Lee: That guy doesn’t have a team, right?